In the night a strange thought wakes you from unremembered dreams
tickling your mind and tugging on your heartstrings
feeling fuzzy you awake-no sun as yet
you slip on a robe and slip from your room with a soft and stealthy step
you glide through empty spaces filled with memories
and pictures. The epics of daily life.
A floorboard creaks at your familiar tread.
You hush it and walk on.
a screen door swinging wide and slamming softly
you wander to your field where the sky reels above you
and a billion stars sing of a glory you can’t quite grasp-
dance to a song you can’t quite hear
but love nonetheless
so hold it close from far away
the darkness of the pines now surrounds you, and your breath makes a cloud beneath a cloudless sky
a sky stabbed by spires of evergreen stretching tall
as bare feet tread on the fallen needles
and you smile as chill breezes numb your face and you laugh
a quiet sound
alive and alone with the swishing pines and your thoughts
You love the quiet – not the darkness – the evil here surfaces too easily
and hiding beneath your covers won’t do.
Not under a cloudless sky in a clearing in the winter woods
so you greet the dark, a stiff smile
and keep your distance
make no contact with your bright eyes
and circle each other, beast and prey
the wind dies, the lights abandon
and now there is only you, alone with your fears
No stars, no moon to light your way
No shield, no sword, no covers to hide your head
No other soul around. It’s just you.
And your fears.
They creep close
Feint toward your heart
And whisper the words you dread
That you are helpless
will Never be good enough
That you are a fraud.
And you are cold
No scream breaks the silence as you sink into the ground – arms over your head and you cannotbreathethedarknessholdssotight dark words and bright malicious smiles you know so well- Doubt and Loneliness and Fear- they will never leave you.
The Darkness gripping you leaps overboard into a frothing thrashing sea
Look up for an instant as your Shame grips your ankles and pulls
A light bursts above and you raise a hand
Oh pray for a lifeline as you sink below.
It is still.
Shame releases with a chuckle,
And you are alone
You breathe- and open your eyes
And a bright face smiles above you, warm hand reaching out
A holed hand reaching out to hold your hand.
Your Savior lays you down in a lifeboat under a billion stars.
A thermos of something warms you from the inside out as you step ashore and He leads you back with a firm hand on a warm shoulder and you can’t look Him in the face.
But the sun is rising and He lifts your head
Deep eyes and reassurance- you are mine.
and He grins again and you
Sit up in bed
and it is April and the tulips are in bloom
so you step out to greet the day with a laugh
for dawn is come.